Terms and Conditions of Use

Our website offers content and information about our services for the general public. By using the website, you agree to accept and comply with the following terms, conditions and disclaimers of use (“Terms of Use”):

Our organization reserves the right to change the content of the website, including without limit these Terms of Use at any time without notice, on any whim of the moment. In fact, by the time you finish reading these Terms of Use, we have probably changed them, so reload your browser just in case. Your continued use of the website constitutes your acceptance, and indeed, we naturally assume, your wholehearted applause, of such changes. These Terms of Use only apply to your use of the website and your continued use of the website constitutes your acceptance of such changes. Even if you so much as glance at the URL, in fact, you have agreed to these Terms of Use.

We use reasonable efforts to provide timely Material via the website. By “reasonable,” we mean, what could you expect from a staff of volunteers, really? By “timely,” we mean, when we get around to it. We make no promise, pledge, vow, commitment, assurance, bond, oath, covenant warranty, representation, or guaranty as to the content, sequence, accuracy, timeliness or completeness of any of the Material. By using the website, you agree that the Material is provided “as is, as available” without warranty – express or implied – of merchantability and fitness for a particular purpose and you agree that you use the website at your own risk, volition, choice, desire, discretion, election, option, and/or preference, and furthermore, that you agree not to use a thesaurus like we did to come up with other ways to describe why you might want to use this website.

The Material includes, as a convenience to you, links to websites that are not part of the website. Sure, it makes us look responsible, as well, but really it is for your convenience, to save your having to type out a URL or do a search  on the internet, so you can thank us later. Our organization (i) does not endorse or recommend the services found on any website reached through these links and (ii) is not responsible for any services or goods provided by any company or entity through websites reached by these links. That is their business, we have enough trouble keeping up with our own. Our organization shall not be liable for any damages or costs arising out of or in any way connected with your use of any Material accessed through the website.

By using the website, you also agree that our organization and any other parties involved in creating, maintaining, and delivering the Material shall have no liability for direct, indirect, incidental, punitive, or consequential damages with respect to the Material contained on or accessed through the website. Not that we are trying to protect any of these other parties, they generally do pretty good work, except for Verizon, upon whom you could pin the blame for pretty much anything related to the internet or phone.

The applications accessed through the website provide a visual display of the Materials. Our organization assumes no liability for any errors, omissions, or inaccuracies in the Material regardless of how caused. Really, the lighting on some of the Materials is really horrible, and we might as well have hired a chimpanzee to run them through Photoshop, compared to what we ended up with. Our organization assumes no liability for any decisions you made or actions taken or not taken by you in reliance on the Material. For example, you might assume that the purchase of a barometer would let you know when a hurricane or tornado is approaching, but in fact, the barometer is purely for decorative purposes, so you do not have to hide in the cellar forever.

Our organization and our service providers, such as Google Analytics, use automated technologies such as cookies, pixels and similar technologies to collect information about your device and use of the website. They may even have hidden cameras and microphones all around your house. This information may include your IP address, browser characteristics, operating system, domain name, the site from which you enter our websites, dates and times of your visits, the language your system uses, your alcohol consumption for the past six months, and the country and time zone in which your device is located. These automated technologies also permit the collection of “clickstream data,” which may include information about the content you access while browsing our websites (such as the pages you visit and how much time you spend on each page). Or it may not. The information generated by the Google Analytics cookie about your use of our website is transmitted to and stored by Google, and who knows where that might be.

When you submit a form, we may add your name to our database of clients and potential clients who may receive periodic updates. They may send you little cards in the mail, or even a package or two. If you are added to such a list, you may opt-out by sending an email to us with “Unsubscribe”  in the subject and a brief message including the address you would like to have removed. It would be great if you could give us a couple of others to replace yours with, really. We reserve the right to provide (on a limited basis) this information to marketing partners, should the need arise, especially if we can make money on it.